Posts in: Personal

Now that I have had my Theater Ideas Substack restored to my possession (after I had stopped writing on it), I’ll probably end up on Substack a bit more (although I want to avoid getting sucked into that vortex). After having been an active member of the Theatre Blogging Wars of the Aughts, I’ve decided that I need to have some Personal Rules of Engagement as I ease back into the feed. Here they are:

Rules of Engagement

There are only 5 ways to respond:

  1. Yes
  2. Yes, and…
  3. Yes, but…
  4. Maybe
  5. No

Responses #1 (Yes) and #5 (No) should be rare, because they add little to the conversation. The exception is if someone is a newby and could use the support of a “Yes” as encouragement. If the response is going to be “No,” just move along.

Response #4 (Maybe) should also be rare – if I am not certain, I should just bookmark the post or note and return once I have something worth adding. If that day never comes, oh well…

Response #3 (Yes, but…) should wait until there are a few positive responses from other people. “Yes, but…” tends to make it about me instead of the author of the post. Let the post be about the author at least for a while, then add my “but” in a way that doesn’t make the author look stupid.

Response #4 (Yes, and…) should be my most common response. I need to signal my “Yes” with enthusiasm, preferably with at least one reason, and then build on what has been written.

If I can follow these rules of engagement, maybe I’ll find the internet more interesting and enjoyable.

When I look back, there were two major occurrences that influenced my life with computers. First, in the mid-80s, I was hired to work at the Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium (MECC), where my boss was Don Rawitsch, the inventor of the popular educational program “Oregon Trail.” I was using an Apple 2e every day, and I was surrounded by programmers using computers in education. In 1992, I was hired as Asst to the Dean of the College of Fine Arts at Illinois State University. The Dean was Alvin Goldfarb, and he had hired an Associate Dean, Dave Williams, whose area was (you guessed it) using computers in the Fine Arts, and he had developed a cutting edge computers lab. Those two experiences not only gave me experience with computers, but also made me much more interested in using computers in education. Once I was hired at UNC Asheville, I became very much involved in the computer work in the Center for Teaching and Learning, and I did a lot of experimentation with computers in my classroom. It seemed natural and fun. Thank you Don, Alvin, and Dave!

Every once in a while, I find myself reading intelligent Substack note after intelligent Substack note, and I think “Why am I avoiding this platform?” Then I subscribe to a few people and suddenly my inbox is overrun with every intellectual twitch a writer has, and I immediately unsubscribe each and every one, panting and sweating by the end as if I’d just averted the apocalypse.

When I first started blogging on Theatre Ideas in 2005, I was responding to a book that had been recommended to me whose title I have long forgotten but that had urged that academics write at least 15 minutes a day every day, which seemed like a good idea to me. I was seven years into my teaching career, had heaved a sigh of relief when I got tenure, and I was not interested in writing for academic journals. I had also read educator Will Richardson’s Blogs, Wikis, Podcasts, and Other Powerful Web Tools for Classrooms which had recently come out. So I decided to blog at least 15 minutes a day. I ended up blogging much more than that. For seven years.

However, like all academics, especially at an undergraduate liberal arts university like mine that put an emphasis on teaching, I didn’t have a lot of time to write – I was teaching a lot of classes, many of them new preps, directing a play one semester a year, and serving on way too many committees. Nevertheless, I had lots of ideas in my head that I wanted to share. Very often, these ideas were reactive – responses to something someone else had written (“honey, I’ll be late for dinner, there’s someone who’s wrong on the internet”) or something I had read in a book that inspired me in some way. I’d sit down at my office desk with two hours available between my class and a committee meeting, have lunch and knock out something just to get the idea out of my head. Often, these posts (we called them posts back then, not “content”) were quite lengthy, sometimes as long as 2,500 words or more. I didn’t have time to research anything that couldn’t be pulled off of my office bookshelf, nor did I have time to edit and rewrite – I did both as I went.

When I look back at that writing today, I confess that I’m surprised at how well it stands up. Of course, I had my share of kneejerk clinkers, but much of what I wrote had energy, some degree of wit, a firm philosophical foundation, and at least some glimmer of insight. Plus they were kind of fun to read. At least to me.

Today when I write here on MB, things are different. Things are much more polite – to disagree with someone, which back then was de rigueur (“Whatever It Is, I’m Against It” was my blogging motto), is now almost unheard of – after all, that’s what X is for! But here, when there are comments, they are mostly of the “attaboy” type. I sort of miss the Intellectual give and take, although the out-and-out brawls got a little tiresome after a while. Sometimes, people took issue with what I wrote – can you believe it?

More importantly, now that I am not writing in response to an ongoing conversation (or battle), and my audience is minimal to say the least, I can take my time to think, research, edit, polish. At first, this was disorienting. I had a hard time recreating the propulsive, slashing style that once set me apart; I’d find my ideas would sort of droop onto the page and lie there, moping and mumbling. That wasn’t fun at all, I’d think, it’s got all the excitement of a bowling ball rolling slowly down the basement stairs. On the other hand, I was still being driven by a sense that I needed to provide a regular stream of, yes, “content” unless I wanted to be forgotten – not admitting that I had been forgotten for a long time now. It took a while but I finally realized that I was OK with that – that I really didn’t want to be part of an online controversy about anything anymore. Maybe that comes of being 68 – I don’t know.

What I’m finally starting to enjoy is just taking my time to let my ideas develop, to edit and polish, to publish only when I think I’ve said what I meant. I mean, this particular post is being written casually, but I have another one that I’m really working on – something apparently called an “effort post” these days, and it is an effort – a slow effort, but an effort nonetheless. A leisurely effort. It’s more like whittling than factory work. And because I have this time, I’m not giving my writing to a chatbot to correct the grammar or make suggestions for how to spice things up a little – I’m going to just do that myself, because that’s part of the fun. It’s like enthusiastic gardeners who even like weeding.

Kids, don’t try this at home – I’m a retired professional, and if you are hoping to generate income through your writing, you will starve taking my approach. You absolutely need to keep your intellectual knee jerking away non-stop, and I hope yout feelings won’t be hurt if I don’t read you. And in exchange, I won’t be hurt of you don’t read me. Deal?

Anyway, sometime in the not-too-distant future, I’ll be publishing something about Paul Kingsnorth’s Against the Machine. But not until I’m damn good and ready.

Several days ago, Alan Jacobs (@ayjay@hcommons.social) published the following in a post entitled “Reorientation":

In times of social and political crisis, especially when new and often contradictory bulletins are arriving on our ICDs (Internet-Connected Devices) at a second-by-second rate, you and I need to step back. We need the relief. But at the same time, it is impossible, for me anyway, not to think about what’s happening. Just saying “I’m not going to read any more about this” is an inadequate response; it has a tendency to leave me fretful and at loose ends.

What helps is to read works from the past that deal with questions and challenges that are structurally similar to the ones we’re facing but that emerged in a wholly different context.

The idea of choosing works that are structurally similar to what’s going on, is an approach that uses literature, not as an escape, but rather as a means of achieving emotional distance for contemplation. I was reminded of how vaccines work by injecting a small amount of the disease into the body in order to allow the autoimmune system to strengthen itself. The works Dr. Jacobs has chosen for this moment includes Psalms, Bonhoeffer’s Letters and Papers from Prison, and Machiavelli’s Discourses.

I’ve been trying to figure how I, as a theater historian with a background in dramatic literature, might follow Dr. Jacobs' lead. One work that sprang to mind immediately is Alfred Jarry’s bizarre and outrageous surrealist play, Ubu Roi (1896), whose central character, King Ubu, “is an antihero – fat, ugly, vulgar, gluttonous, grandiose, dishonest, stupid, jejune, voracious, greedy, cruel, cowardly and evil.” Another possibility: Sophocles' Antigone, which seems fitting as a portrait of a tyrannical ruler whose reaction to resistance is brutality (although Jean Anouilh’s version, written during the Nazi occupation of Paris, might supplement the original Greek version). And finally, Friedrich Schiller’s 1804 drama, William Tell, about an individual’s resistance in the face of inhumanity, and the moral questions that arise from his resistance.

Jacobs concludes:

This practice of breaking bread with the dead in times of crisis offers a threefold reorientation: - Emotional, because it gives you a break from people who are continually trying to stoke your feelings of anger and hatred; - Intellectual, because in comparing past situations with ours you get an increasingly clear sense of what about our current situation is familiar (and therefore subject to familiar remedies) and what unusual or even unique (and therefore in need of new strategies); - Moral, because, as Aragorn says to Éomer, “Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man’s part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house.”

Well said, Dr. Jacobs, and many thanks for providing me with inspiration to think differently about my reading. I think it might be wise to add to my list a re-reading of *Breaking Bread with the Dead” as well.

[Reposting this to get it on my blog. @timapple and @apoorplayer: just ignore this. Pretend you’re everyone else in the world…]

@timapple mentioned the new 37 Signals app, which is a simple and fun version of Kan Ban called Fizzy. I went over and checked it out. Now, Kan Bans are used for tracking collaborative projects with a decent number of people [@drjlwells has informed me this isn’t necessarily true], which is not me at all. I’m a solo act these days. However, I watched the demo video done by 37 Signals co-founder Jason Fried, and then signed up for the free trial today and started using it.

So far, it’s been kind of fun. I want to keep track of progress on my book projects, online writing, and home improvement projects. Right now, I’m trying to restore one of my previous books to the web for free online reading, and it is helping me organize what needs to be done. I also threw a “card” up (you created cards that are then added to columns that indicate levels of progress) about an article I stumbled on and might want to want to write about later about “ecoscenography,” which is a design approach for theater productions that tries to create sets, for instance, out of things that can be upcycled, recycled, or reused. I can attach the article to the card along with a few sentences to remind me of what I was thinking, and I put it in the “Considering” column.

I could see this as being useful for something like a podcast (@apoorplayer) or YouTube channel where you have to organize and track various stages of production. If I were still teaching, I was use the heck out of it for my class prep, committee work, production work and so forth.

For some reason, I find this kind of fun, especially recently when my mind has a bunch of new and unexpected energy. I look forward to exploring other uses. The trial gives you 1000 cards, after which you can either pay $20/month or download the source code and run it yourself. Unfortunately, the latter is beyond my pay grade right now, but it might be something I could learn later. @timapple, how is it going for you?

I often feel as if getting a new computer opens up the possibility of finally, at long last, figuring out a new, effective way of organizing my projects, both writing, reading, and home improvement projects. Perhaps if I find some new apps, things will fall into place, and all the wonderful thoughts and tasks will flow like water.

All of which is to say, I bought a refurbished Dell chromebook and it arrived a few days ago, and I have been happily exploring new apps and new “workflows” (God, I dislike that word.) Pressbooks, 37 Signals' new Fizzy app, Google Calendar and Tasks. Maybe this time…

Today, I received Tom Loughlin’s newsletter, A Poor Player. Tom is struggling about what to care about as he ages and how to interact with today’s world, especially with today’s news, media, and politics. So am I, so Tom’s thoughts are of great interest to me. We often take very different routes while winding up at similar destinations.

On December 11, he wrote the following:

There’s No Good News Anymore

Underpinning my current effort to get more control over my news feeds was, as mentioned, the realization that I was not reading probably 75% of what I was pulling into my feed reader. Beneath that was the further realization that, to be frank, I don’t care much at this stage of life about current events or editorial opinions. All I need are the simple facts of what’s going on, and I only need a few key sources for that.

Expanding on this even further, I’ve also found that there is no good news to be had at scale. I’m not talking about those “feel good” stories where some person overcomes obstacles to defeat some difficulty in life. I’m talking about good news about the general state of humanity. News about poverty being eradicated, wars and conflicts ending, hunger being significantly reduced, wages that are double the rate of inflation, climate control and environmental success. There is no good news anymore. Oppression, the stripping away of rights and freedoms, the vast economic divide - this is all that constitutes the “news” these days.

To top it all off, at my age, I do not believe I will see any of this turn around within what’s left of my lifetime. All the problems in today’s world will take several generations to resolve, and I do not have several generations of years left. The issues are intractable, deep, and widespread, and it’s conceivable that nothing will fix what’s wrong without a complete collapse akin to the 1929 crash, which brought an end to the “robber baron” era and introduced the New Deal, the pillars of which are now corroding and being relentlessly hacked at by today’s oligarchs.

The internet is awash with think pieces, while the world burns. I just need to know what’s happening. As Joe Friday used to say on Dragnet, “Just the facts, ma’am.” I’m hoping to reduce my news intake to “just the facts” so that I can decide for myself what course of action to take. Those are the kinds of newsletters I’m now pursuing. I don’t think I need the internet to do my thinking for me anymore.

I see this as a legitimate attempt to carve out a philosophy, and I don’t want to bomb into his comments to take issue, or worse (as someone already has done), to offer advice. There is such a strong desire in our culture to make sure everybody is chipper and cheerful at all times, and to worry about anyone who isn’t. When did half empty become such a sin?

Nevertheless, I feel like examining his ideas in order to ask myself, as Goethe would have said, “Is this true? Is it true for me?” So let’s work my way through this.

TOM: “I don’t care much at this stage of life about current events or editorial opinions. All I need are the simple facts of what’s going on, and I only need a few key sources for that.”

I’m on board with this. It seems to me that two things happened, one in 1980, and another in 2006, that makes this attitude almost inevitable today. The year 1980 is when CNN began broadcasting, ushering in the 24-hr news cycle; 2006 is when Twitter was born. Prior to 1980, each major news network had an evening news around the dinner hour, and then before bedtime there was local news; there also were morning or evening newspapers. The world was not awash in news, especially political news. If something particularly bad happened, the networks would interrupt our “regularly scheduled program” to quickly fill us in, and then quickly bow out. In other words, national and international politics was a small part of our otherwise locally-focused day.

In 2006, Twitter linked peer pressure to the onslaught of news “content.” People could easily share a link to a news story, along with their 128-character (the brevity enforced superficiality) knee jerk response, with friends, family, and followers. Whereas previously, a newspaper delivery boy would toss a newspaper onto our front porch in the early morning or late afternoon, now everyone you knew could throw news on your electronic porch anytime they wanted, thus burying you in political outrage. The result is that news (along with commerce, which is the other thing that Twitter was good at) has assumed a primary place in our daily thinking. In 1992, James Carville famously said to Bill Clinton, “It’s the economy, stupid;” after 2006, he might have said “It’s the Tweet, stupid;” and for the past decade, it’s been “It’s the stupid.” Period.

Once it was determined that one might monetize (horrible word, monetize) one’s stupidity by designing your headlines and “content” to provoke outrage, thoughtfulness was doomed, divisiveness reigned, and we became ripe for Trump’s idiocracy. Welcome to the last 10 years.

So I’m with Tom: I want to keep up with the basic outlines of what’s going on in the world, but I want to go back to the days pre-1980s, when the national news was balanced by the local news, on TV and in the newspaper, and it was distributed daily by the spoonful, not the fire hose.

CNN’s single-minded focus on the national and international news (because there is no locality to CNN, it is distributed throughout the media sphere) shows up in Tom’s next paragraph.

Tom: I’ve also found that there is no good news to be had at scale. I’m not talking about those “feel good” stories where some person overcomes obstacles to defeat some difficulty in life. I’m talking about good news about the general state of humanity. News about poverty being eradicated, wars and conflicts ending, hunger being significantly reduced, wages that are double the rate of inflation, climate control and environmental success.

In 1973, E. F. Schumacher declared that “small is beautiful,” and seven years later (i.e., the year when CNN began broadcasting) Kirkpatrick Sale warned about the dangers of a world where bigness took precedence over “human scale.” Twenty years after that, Robert Putnam announced that we were “bowling alone,” and and Ray Oldenberg bemoaned the disappearance of “third places” that stood between the workplace and the home. Neighbors migrated from the front porch to the back deck, and eventually to the air conditioned comfort of the TV room. The pandemic nailed that trend in place. Today, most people don’t really have a connection to the place where they live, and as a result they think that the most important problems are global, not local. As a result, nothing counts unless it eradicates a problem completely on a global scale. We need look no further than the appearance of the word “systemic” as the constant companion of the word “problem” for confirmation of what we value. As Tom notes, to solve a problem for an individual (i.e., “some person”), or even a handful of individuals, just doesn’t “count” anymore. Go big or go home. So most of us just go home and watch superhero movies.

At the same time that Schumacher and Sale were warning us of the dangers of gigantism, psychologist Martin Seligman et al was doing experiments with lab rats exploring what he called “learned helplessness.” Writing on the website Simply Psychology, Charlotte Nickerson defined learned helplessness as “a psychological state in which an individual, after repeated exposure to uncontrollable negative events, believes they are powerless to change their situation, even when opportunities to do so arise. This leads to passivity, decreased motivation, and a sense of hopelessness, which can persist even when circumstances change and control is possible.” She concludes,“ Learned helplessness is often associated with depression.”

In my opinion, our culture is suffering from a bad case of learned helplessness as a result of the media teaching us to focus on national or global problems that are so large that we can’t even see much less appreciate little victories, local victories, even individual victories. Instead, we feel a sense of powerlessness because we can’t conceptualize anything we could do to make a difference on a such a large scale. Thus, we are made constantly aware of the dire consequences of failing to solve these problems while simulatenously told that nothing an individual could do would really matter.

To combat this temptation to slide into nihilism, I am personally trying to focus more on what is happening on a local or regional scale – even on a personal scale – lest I fall victim to the depression of learned helplessness. For instance, I taught for many years at area prisons in NC, and still keep in touch with many of my former students. I can’t eliminate the prison-industrial complex, but I can make a difference to a handful of individuals with whom I correspond, and to whom I provide encouragement and money so that they can use their tablets to take online classes, watch movies, or simply communicate with the outside world through messages. This means I have to reprogram myself to focus on small-scale contributions, which goes against the current in our global society.

TOM: To top it all off, at my age, I do not believe I will see any of this turn around within what’s left of my lifetime. All the problems in today’s world will take several generations to resolve, and I do not have several generations of years left.

This is Part 2 of the focus only on large-scale problems: enormous change takes too much time. When I was teaching freshman colloquium classes at the University of North Carolina at Asheville, one year the reading was Ross King’s fabulous book Brunelleschi’s Dome: How a Renaissance Genius Reinvented Architecture, which was about Florence’s Santa Maria del Fiore cathedral. Begun in 1296 and completed 140 years later in 1436, the book’s primary focus was on Brunelleschi’s architectural breakthrough in building the cathedral’s dome, but in many ways King was writing about perspective and patience in the creation of something lasting. Entire generations of craftsmen and artisans, not to mention church leaders, died without ever seeing anything even resembling a completed building over the course of their lifetimes. And yet they continued, day after day, to do the work.

I’m just a couple years younger than Tom, and I find there is something strangely comforting about seeing yourself as a “short timer.” My in-laws, who lived into their late 80s and early 90s, for years would say when they encountered something that should be fixed in their home, “Well, that’s for the next owners.” Likewise, at my age, I don’t have the energy to undertake many projects, but I can make contributions and send encouragement. My mother-in-law worked with her fellow churchgoers to sew quilts for the poor until a couple weeks before her death at age 94. Poverty hadn’t been solved, but a few people were a bit warmer thanks to her efforts. That ain’t nothing.

None of that is about how much media one is allowing into one’s life, but again it is about having a local focus, celebrating small victories, and making small contributions to move the flywheel even one click.

At the same time, I willingly and happily acknowledge that one of the tasks of being and elder is to turn inward, to seek wisdom, to deepen understanding, so move from “age-ing” to “sage-ing,” as Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi wrote in his book by a similar name. For this task, current events are a distraction except insofar as they provide ways to illustrate one’s insights.

It is in this sense that I willingly follow Tom down the road to minimizing internet punditry and outrage posting in favor of bare-naked facts about events in our society, especially political events. Unlike Tom, I’m a bit more interested in “think pieces,” but mainly within a larger philosophical context (my interest in pundits’s thoughts on the latest grotesque pronouncement of our current president is nil). In my case, my reading is shifting toward deeper works of fiction and nonfiction, many written in eras long ago.

When all is said an done, Tom’s end result and mine are similar: disconnection from the toxic global soup that feeds the internet. Long ago when the internet was young, somebody wrote that the most valuable job of the future would be curating what we now call “content.” While I suspect today a majority of people would agree, few curators have stepped forward, perhaps because the size of the job has become too large, but mostly because we just leave it to the algorithm to feed us things that we like. Nevertheless, each individual can do their best to focus their reading to those things that enhance their understanding of themselves and of the world.

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